Can a Leopard Change its Spots?

© Ciuciumama |

© Ciuciumama |

This week, I’ve been having conversations about change. I’ve always been taught that you can’t change anyone, you just have to accept your friends and loved ones for who they are. But what if you’re the one who needs to change? Can you change yourself?

Experts insist that your temperament is determined before you are born, and your personality develops by first grade, with the core remaining stable throughout your life. So what happens when you are aware (or are made aware) or your shortcomings, and decide you want to change those negative qualities?

My boyfriend insists that you cannot change yourself, no matter how hard you try. He believes that the best that you can do is to identify your flaws and acknowledge when those characteristics cause problems in your relationships. He thinks that even when you can’t see that you’ve done something wrong, by recognizing your failings, you can assume that you’ve contributed to the problem and go about making amends.

My cousin also thinks that you are who you are, yet she thinks that it’s possible to tweak the original design. I agree. I think of my more undesirable personality traits as bad habits, and as such, they are changeable. I heard or read somewhere that it takes 21 days to change a habit. While I think my more challenging “habits” may take more than 21 days to change—and I may never be truly different at my core—I can be an improved version of who I am.

So get ready for Kristina 2.0!

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One Response to Can a Leopard Change its Spots?

  1. Papa says:

    I enjoyed your life lesson and would agree that change is possible only if you make up your mind and keep it made up. People who try to argue that “you” cannot change could be really saying that you should accept their not willing to change. Refusing the need to change can be an obstacle to growth. Some people would rather try to be clever and propagate a sophomoric notion to validate their shortsightedness, rather than admit the need in themselves. Anyone one who tells you to identify your flaws usually sees very few of their own but can be real critical of what he thinks are yours. I can tell you from many years of being grown that if I didn’t change and move on that I could not have the peace of mind and happiness that I have in this chapter of my life.


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